Who am I?

I am just a sperm who got a lucky. I realise I have already lived too long compared to my sperm-bros. Though apparently I seem to have lost all my memories of that phase of my life, I must still say, from what I perceive, life should have been much similar there. There were some folks who were deliberately slow and had no plans of reaching their supposed-to-be-targets. They were called the weak ones. Now I realise how unfair it was to call them the weak ones. I confess I called myself "lucky" only by mainstream standards and because it made the line look cool (an indulgent writer's POV). Personally, I can't really say that I was lucky or they were unlucky.
Yeah, I am just a sperm who got "lucky". A very lazy sperm at that; who lost all its naivé optimistic zest when it reached the largely coveted spot. I am a "winner" who is basking in his past "glory"; not bothering about his next spot. On an average case, I have much more time to look forward to.
Much as people try to convince me that man (or sperms for that matter) doesn't get to live forever, I still think life is infinite for all practical purposes and hence there is no internal thrust to fastly reach the next spot. May be, I am confusing indeterminate with infinite. In fact, yes! {Here the reader has to pardon me for suddenly jumping into classical mathematics} In classical mathematics, an indeterminate value can be anything. But, applying it to philosophy, an indeterminate value can be anything precisely because it's value doesn't hold any significance. Thus, an indeterminate value can take any value and still can be perceived as being the same. So, you don't feel that somebody is catching up with you. which makes you feel that you are living on and on. Thus, some of my sperm-bros who dropped earlier didn't lose much, I understand. But hey, I didn't lose anything at all! In fact, now that I am already a "winner", I have nothing left to lose. That's exactly why I am basking in my state of losslessness.
This dude contemplates suicide, time and again. Funny as it may be, I never got those suicidal thoughts. I really don't seem to question futility of any kinds. Living in complete coordination with the pervasive (or infinite) futility makes the sense of the pervasive futility disappear completely. And I start thinking about which restaurant I should hop over for my dinner. And there, I complete the full circle. All in a minute.